Cardiff University Sub-Aqua Club

The forecast was a blistering 30C, calm seas and vis in excess of 30m. Unfortunately, unlike Luke this week, the Red Sea was not our destination. As we made our way down to Portland the outlook was never good. Having taken our chances with weather when booking weeks before, we arrived in a force 6-7 gale in driving rain and skulked into the hotel at around 10pm on Friday night. Settling down around Kelvin in the bar we learned the finer points of diving under bridges looking for lost wallets or guns and as the night went on, we planned the perfect murder. Retiring to our room with beds that squeaked like a really squeaky thing from Squeak Land, we paid credit to Hannah for being the only woman in the room and tolerating our behaviour, and squeaking...

Waking, all of us exhausted from sleeping with 8 other people over night, the force 8 outside didn't look inviting. One site was available in Portland Harbour to dive but with a force 10 imminent the decision was made not to dive. Two senior members (Fluff and Tablet) decided they would give it a crack however and off they went for a pleasant bimble, only to be greeted by a broken down boat on surfacing. Fluff saved the day by pulling the boat to safety before a Land Rover returned them to the hotel.

Meanwhile, the rest of us planned a trip to town only to find that in time honoured style the minibus battery had gone flat! Ashley did the deed of phoning the AA in his finest Irish accent, telling them that his Transit full of gear wouldn't start, he had to get to town and the clock was ticking...

Once we'd got our act together we pootled off down to Portland Bill to see the waves. To describe the strength of wind and waves, the Richter Scale was more appropriate than the Beaufort Scale. So we didn't stay long. A trip to the Weymouth Sea Life Centre ensued, with sharks, seals, octopuses and loads of fish. Sophie then thrashed us all with a very casual yet deadly style of ten-pin bowling and before we knew it we were back in the bar.

Sunday saw the decision not to dive made for us by the boat skipper, yet the (fool)hardier members of the club couldn't resist a quick dip just off Castletown beach out of the wind. Things still failed to run smoothly even here. I knew something was wrong but couldn't figure it out. As I'd finished my buddy check with Hannah and was just about to enter the water it dawned on me. So I went back to the minibus and got my fins. Three dives were successfully executed to a grand maximum depth of 6m with vis ranging between 0.5 and 1.5m. Plenty of life and random objects kept us all amused! The weekend provided us all with an important experience - when it's best to choose not to dive.

The return to Cardiff continued to deliver fun and frolics. Tablet gained his SDC in wing-mirror search and recovery after a concealed tree lashed out viciously. A kamikaze ninja squirrel crouching steadfast in the road provided G with a perfect opportunity to test the brakes when fully laden. When we got back to Cardiff Amanda exploded...which was nice.